frequently i look at diets and exercise routines that promise to tone, tighten and flatten problem areas. in addition to all of that there is a money back guarantee to lose weight, feel great and find a man. just kidding, man not included. i have never been a dieter, unless of course you subscribe to the "eat everything and anything you want" diet. i am a big supporter of that. i also have commitment issues when it comes to sticking with an exercise routine.
i honestly don't have a distorted body image. i have seen women my same age who look better and some who look worse, so overall i am not doing too bad. my issue lies with the fact that i don't look like i did when i was younger and i know that as i get older it is only going to be harder to maintain the shape i currently have. with that i am lazy and would prefer a quick fix instead of hard labor, but logically i know that is an unhealthy, unrealistic expectation.
so i battle. i battle with the number on my scale. if you know my scale story, you remember that it, my scale, thinks i am a 38 year old man. i should probably use another scale since i can't figure out how to change the preset or better yet just not have a scale. i battle with my clothes that frequently feel like they are strangling me. battle with accepting compliments about myself. alright i battle in general, i should be clad in armor, have long unruly locks with a name like xena, but that name is already used. hmmm...i'm open to suggestions.
anyway, when i am looking at these diets that claim to reduce "the pooch", "drop 10 pounds by friday" and it is thursday, or any of the other "suck you in" headlines, there is vital food missing from their recommended diet. apparently to achieve this quick fix you must eat like an herbivore. stuffing your face with every known vegetable, the grosser the better, and fruit you can think of. eww! you must also drink these water concoctions with things like dandelion root in it. have you ever pulled up a dandelion and thought, "hey that looks tasty, i think i'm going suck on the root for a bit?" heck NO, because it is gross!
i don't know about you, but i tend to get really bloated when i eat veggies. i can feel my abdomen swelling with noxious gasses. i wonder if it has to do with the fact that i prefer my veggies raw instead of cooked? i should probably take beano, but i haven't brought myself to purchase this type of product. checking out with beano has to be right up there with buying hemorrhoid cream? it is one of those moments where you refuse to make eye contact with the checker, avoiding small talk with a predator's stare on the debit card machine. you know those moments right?
why can't there be a diet where you don't have to take beano, you don't have to drink dandelion roots, and you don't have to eat two cantaloupes a day? maybe one with pizza? not a cauliflower crust pizza either. i'm sorry but you can't make mashed up cauliflower taste like delicious pizza crust! since i haven't come across a great quick fix and i'm not planning on buying beano anytime soon, i will continue with what has worked so far "eat whatever in moderation".
4 comments:
consider checking your body composition rather than relying on weight. this diet worked for me and is easy to follow without the dandelions!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paleolithic_diet
thank you scotty s. i will check it out! cheers
Eat food, not a lot, mostly plants. Google that. You might like what you read. It's the only sensible thing anyone has said about diet in the last forever years.
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