six am, my alarm goes off, but i had woken up a few times prior to my alarm buzz. it is race day, a day i have been dreading, because i know that i am NOT by any means ready. when i signed up for the race, i was really gung ho. i had months to prepare myself. all was going great until school and the kid's sports schedules started. about that same time, i slept funny and hurt my neck. that took a good week and a half to feel better. when my neck felt better then i lost enough daylight hours to continue training.
so, six am and it's race day. i laid in my bed thinking just don't go. nobody will ever know. i wanted more than anything to fall back asleep and claim that i slept through my alarm. i even thought out how i could "fake" that i ran the race, however i didn't feel very good about that, so i climbed out of bed, got dressed and headed out.
i really wasn't looking forward to thirteen miles of running. the longest i had gone in my training was six, just shy of halfway mark. i knew i was going to struggle and i didn't want to struggle. i have a healthy competitive side and really wanted to do my best.
so there i am with 300 other female runners and five male runners. some people were in crazy coordinated costumes and some, like me, were just in boring old running attire. normally i get all swept up in the festivities of a race and join in the hooting and hollering at the start of the race, but this time i was very subdued having an internal conversation you can do this just keep moving forward.
regardless of how much i'm training, the first mile is always the hardest one for me. it takes me a good mile to find my groove, regulate my breathing, relax my shoulders, utilize my arms just right, adjust how hard i'm pounding my feet into the ground, and adjust my music device. by the end of that first mile i've found my groove and things are generally going well.
for this race, the end of the first mile was the start of a mile long winding descent on a mountain biking trail. i kept thinking this is going to be rough as mile twelve coming back. i kept my snail's pace on the trail but stayed light on my feet for the descent. i have fallen more than once going down hill on a mountain trail and really didn't want a repeat performance.
mile three was steep switch backs out of the valley we had just descended in to. i haven't done much hill training, actually i haven't done any. i don't like hills, they stink. at this point, i was behind two ladies barely running, but still running. i was totally fine to follow them and trudge up that hill to the top because i knew i wouldn't over exert myself.
once we got to the top, i really found my groove. the trail that we ran was an unpaved back woods type trail. it was kind of gravely, wooded, with a heavy canopy over the trail. the rain started about mile four. for clarity, it had been drizzling from the beginning, but the heavens opened up and it really started raining around mile four. it was somewhere in between miles four and five i found myself behind two ladies who trained together. i could hear them talking about how far they've come as runners and were recalling how it wasn't that long ago and getting to just this point was hard for them. i was kinda missing the camaraderie of having my own gal pal, but this was a personal challenge i had to do alone.
around mile six, the rains still coming down, my music stopped working, which also meant that my mileage tracker stopped working. for awhile it was just me and my surroundings. big rain drops from the trees above, that clean earthy smell you get when it rains, my feet hitting the ground, and my breathing. it was actually really peaceful and i was feeling great. at the turn around point my music and mileage tracker came back on, but i turned them both off because i was actually enjoying the peace of the run. unlike most times when i have no background noise my mind is on its own journey, but for today i was just running.
the return was going great until i hit mile nine. i was feeling fantastic, my breathing was good, my lungs weren't tired, but my legs started protesting, actually they were yelling at me to stop running. in general i have pretty bad knees and hips, my knees actually hurt everyday, but i just ignore them, however the shooting pain coursing between my knees and hips was excruciating. i thought to myself you are not trying to get an olympic qualifying time, flo, there is no need to overdo it and injure yourself so i decided to walk. walking was definitely easier than the running, but my legs were really hurting. i kept a brisk pace, trying to keep my heart rate up and i had a goal to finish by noon. i was racing the clock at this point and although walking was easier on my legs, i didn't think i would be able to make the noon deadline.
i had come so far, i was super proud that i was able to make it nine miles without stopping. this accomplishment far exceeded what i thought i would be able to do, but i couldn't walk across that finish line. mile thirteen and i started running again. most people probably wouldn't really call it running, but it wasn't walking, skipping, jumping, or galloping so it must be considered running. every step hurt like the dickens, but i had to finish strong.
overall it was a great experience. i didn't meet my deadline, i missed it by 15 minutes, but i finished and finished strong which was far more important. i will definitely be doing another half marathon, just because i AM going to run the whole darn thing. i will probably pick a different race, maybe one that isn't a backwoods trail. and maybe next time i will find a running partner, because it would have been way more fun to do this with someone.
until the next race...
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