get in the cage...

i love when i am introduced to new things.  there is so much to see, learn and experience in this world i am always eager.  unless you are talking about something illegal, endangering to my life, or entering the "back door".  those types of things i am not so eager about.

over the weekend, i learned a new sport...disc golf.  i have heard of this, but didn't know any of the ins and outs.  quick overview, there are these discs, smaller than a frisbee and you throw them, much like a frisbee, at a metal and chain cage.  sounds easy enough right?  wrong!!  there is a whole lot of technique and skill required to play this game well.

 

just as in golf, there are different discs for what you are trying to do; long range driver, mid range driver, and putters.  not all discs are created equal.  yes they are all the same size and circular, but the edges are different, the stiffness of the disc is different and even the material is different.  there are multiple ways to throw a disc depending on what you are trying to achieve.  for your initial drive you are looking for distance, just like traditional golf.  this one man on the course described it as lining up your shoulders and pulling a lawn mower rope across your chest and for some reason your wrist is supposed to naturally snap.  there was no "snapping" for me.  there were "holes" that you couldn't see past the vegetation and you threw the disc like a tomahawk.  then there was another way to throw that i can't even describe other than it looked you were a contortionist (inside out).  and you stand different for "putting".  who knew?  there are even special bags for your discs.  for as many similarities to traditional golf there are some big differences; no golf carts, no green fees or special attire required.

 

when i am learning a new skill you can guarantee i look special.  teaching my body how to stand, hold, throw and follow through takes some time to master.  i'm not sure if this is something that i will be able to "master", but you can guarantee i will keep trying.    my first impression was being inside a pinball game.  my disc ricocheted off every tree, even if it wasn't close by.  bounced off the ground when it was supposed to be flying.  rolled into thickets of prickles and bushes trying to hide.  i think my disc was alive and trying to flee the scene.  basically it was everywhere i didn't intend for it to be.  aiming was clearly not my strong point.

 

i was however consistent.  the two courses we played, yes we played two in one day, were both par 3 courses (another similarity to traditional golf).  it consistently took me four tries to put my unruly, mind of its own disc into the cage.  the biggest obstacle i am going to have is the initial throw. there is a throwing pad; a marked out area and a line to throw from. since these aren't well manicured golf greens, there are obstacles to contend with, many of you know i have a tendency to fall. i was not confident enough in my skills to run and throw, opting for the safer stand and throw route.  with some practice i think i will be able to attempt the run and throw which will give my disc a little more umpf and might bring my score to par.

 

overall i was happy with my performance on my virgin run.  i had a great teacher and created some fun memories. 

 

drinking him in...

how does he smell?  this is the first question that shreddie asks me when i tell her about someone new in my life.  shreddie is convinced, and there are actually many studies that support her theory, that scent plays a big role in attraction. 

shreddie always says doesn't matter how handsome he is, if he doesn't smell good it's a no go.  i used to think she was crazy, but deep down i know she is right.  let's face it, would you really want to be with someone who you didn't think smelled good?  yeah, probably not.

shreddie is not talking about the cologne that a man wears.  although, i think cologne is nice as long as it isn't so overpowering that you feel like you need oxygen mask just to get clean air.  we, as humans, have a natural odor.  this is what shreddie is talking about, ones natural odor.

you know in movies, tv shows, or even in a novel when you see (or read about) a woman who is wearing her man's shirt?  typically he is gone, maybe just to work or they have parted ways, whatever the case she is still holding on.  she is wrapping herself in him.  drinking in his scent.  i was thinking it is funny that they only show women doing this, but i suppose most women are with men who are bigger than they are.  seeing your man sausaged in your shirt would be super funny and probably really awkward.

anyway, in between activities with my children (trampoline park, state fair, church) i spent the better part of my weekend with a man.  i haven't said much about him, but i will tell you this.  he makes me smile a little bigger, laugh a little more often and has been a bright spot in my day.  i was definitely bummed that the weekend was over and it was back to the daily grind of work, motherhood and getting ready for the upcoming school year.

he left his shirt at my house.  i found myself being that woman in the movies.  i pulled his shirt over my head, held it up to my nose and drank in his scent.  heavenly.  besides my skivvies, his shirt was all i wore for the remainder of the evening and for a good portion of the next day.  i waited as long as i possibly could before taking a shower and unrobing myself from his scent.  sigh.

i was tempted to wear it every night until i saw him again, but thought better of it.  his scent was slowly fading and i was adding my funk to the shirt.  just for the record, my funk isn't awful, but i'm sleeping.  if you noticed the shirt is a long sleeve thermal and it is summer.  i will let you do the math.  i ended up washing it.  when i pulled it out of the dryer i crumpled it up to my nose and took a big whiff, all i could smell was the dryer sheet.  dryer sheets aren't bad, in fact i like that smell a ton, but dryer sheets definitely are not as heavenly as him.

beards...

i was texting with my sister the other night...

is it bad that a single girl is drinking wine in bed watching friends re-runs with a purring cat?

 

before i could answer she writes...

 

who am i kidding, you're knitting beards. LOL :)

 

true story.  i was at home wednesday night crocheting (not knitting) a beard.  yes, i am a 36 year old woman who sits at home crocheting beards.  i have a cat named oscar.  i wear granny panties to bed, because i'm sorry they are just more comfortable.  oh and i like puzzles.  maybe i should flip those numbers around and add 30 to it, because this sounds more like a 93 year old lady. 

 

there was a really good reason why i was crocheting a beard.  besides the fact that it is frick-fracking awesome, it is for the st. pattys dash.  yes, i realize it is quite a ways away, but i have several to make.  oh no, my old lady hole is getting deeper.  this was my first take at it.  i didn't know how long it was going to make one of these (about 30 minutes) and like i mentioned i have a few more to make, so i had some extra time and thought why not? 

 

so here's the gig.  my girlfriends and i run in the st. pattys day dash.  we have done it two years in a row.  i swear this year i will be better prepared for it.  anyway, we have been adding to our ensembles each year.  last years addition was stick on green mustaches.  they were awesome and i think we were the only ones sporting them. 

 

this race has the worst weather ever.  it is always pouring.  it really doesn't matter how well dressed you think you are, each year i look like a shivering wet cat.  it's not pretty.  true to form it was pouring down rain at the start of the race, but it started snowing towards the end.  yes, you read that right, snowing!  needless to say our faces were cold.

 

since, we are ladies and do not possess the ability to grow our own beards, well i do have those two hairs that grace my chin, but that doesn't count, i thought i would make beards.  sometimes men have it better.  sure would be nice to grow a cozy warm beard for the winter months.  short of collecting all the hair that falls out of my head, the hair i shave off of my legs and pits or the hair that is waxed, yarn beards is the best i can do.

 

there you go, the official story behind the yarn beards.  i will be keeping the first one with all the mistakes.  hopefully by the end of this escapade i will be an expert beard maker. 

 



doing it barefoot...

there seems to be a rather large movement to go barefoot.  there are many studies that show the benefits of going barefoot; less deformed toes, great flexor strength, denser muscles on the bottom of the feet, greater agility, more ability to spread toes (this doesn't seem like a highly desirable benefit to me) and the list continues.  i have seen people hiking, exercising, running, you name it people are doing it barefoot.

so here's the deal, the other day while i was at work there was a gentleman walking down the street.  gasp!  keep your britches on there is more to the story.  he seemed well put together (nice clothes and well groomed) however he wasn't wearing any shoes.  he didn't even have a bag with him, so there wasn't even shoes being carried on his person.  he didn't even have the laces of his shoes tied together and thrown over his shoulder.  did you ever do this?  i did this with my track shoes.

i rarely go barefoot.  i am not put together well from the hips down and need the support of my shoes.  huh?  oh alright, my hips are naturally rotated out and my knees rotate in.  it's a mess that cannot be corrected.  i have had custom orthotics made that are supposed to help, but it just transfers where my body naturally rotates and makes a different part of me hurt.  so i will forever have achy knees.  i try not to be a baby about it.

anyway, back to this man.  i am not a huge germiphobe, but i can't imagine how many nasty things he stepped on; people's spit globs, boogers from the man who "farmer blows" all the time, gum, seagull poo, urine from a different man who pees on the wall everyday, other random wetness, food remnants, yeah it's a long list and i can think of many more things, but i am getting grossed out.

this man didn't seem to have a care in the world in his nice clothes and perfectly coiffed hair, in fact he wasn't even watching where he was placing his feet.  uh what?  okay let's say for giggles that i decided on my lunch break to take walk...barefoot.  you can guarantee that my head would be wobbling back and forth scanning the ground for potential yuck and how to avoid it.  even when i walk barefoot in the grass if i step on something unexpected my brain says yuck and i pick my foot up real quick. 

i suppose if you are a regular barefooter you have callouses and have probably grown accustomed to strange textures and surfaces pressing against your feet.  that maybe the random gooey or surprising wet wouldn't phase you, but how long until you get to that point?  there must be a learning curve here, a grace period before your feet get tough enough to not notice, a span of time before your yuck reflex stops kicking in. 

i will probably not be participating in the barefoot movement.  i fancy shoes way too much and i am going to save myself the embarrassment of leaping around because of my yuck reflex.

hook, line and complacent...

i absolutely love, love, love this couple.  you can tell after what looks like a lifetime of togetherness they are still in love.  i love all their wrinkles, gray hair, and the immense amount of history in their faces.  i sure hope this is what i look like, although i want my teeth, with my partner when i am old(er).

 

i know far too many people in complacent relationships.  they act more like roommates carrying out daily chores than two people who want to share their lives with each other.  i know i've been obsessed with the passionate couple of my dreams but can this couple exist in today's world? 

 

i was having a discussion with a friend about this very thing, she asked, "if you start a relationship full of passion can you maintain it?  if you start a relationship with lack luster passion can you obtain it?"  i told her that i think it can be maintained, but only if both parties want it and work at it everyday.  i also think that it can be obtained but that takes a whole lot more work and starts with the person who wants it.  did hopeless romantical optimist flash in your head?  it did in mine too.

 

it seems to me that when you are getting to know someone you spend a ton of energy to attract and keep their attention.  through playfulness, flirting, a spur of the moment rendezvous, phone conversations that go long into the night or through small gestures.  however once you have "hooked" that person it seems like all those little extras start to wane.  why?  complacency.  we fall into the mundane routine of life and forget to nurture the reason why we are in the mundane routine, each other.

 

again, i am no expert.  you are listening to a divorced woman who can't keep a relationship alive to save her life, but i am hopeful that my hunch is correct.  which brings me back to the adorable couple above.  i am going to bet that those two have had many ups, downs and in between boring moments.  there were probably times where they wanted to call it quits and times where they were so in love nothing could stop them.  i can only imagine that through everything they stayed true to their commitment to each other.

 

wouldn't it be funny if all my hypothesis were horse shit and the true story behind these two people is they are newlyweds enjoying the newness and intoxication of young love? 

  
 

dream couple....

ahem, i'm going to fill you in on one of my "likes".  this is one of my favorite ways to kiss, except i want to be the one against the wall.  i will tell you why in a minute, but first i should tell you that my dream continued.  here is the cool thing about dreams, they are just snippets.  you see scenes that may or may not connect and if you happen to remember them when you wake up you can fill in the missing pieces.  you can make the story a tragic romance or a happily ever after.

as i have shared before, i want a relationship that is full of passion.  i have learned that this is really important to me.  i cannot be in a relationship that is passionless, it just isn't going to work for me.  the reoccurring couple in my dreams is dripping passion.  this time they were parting ways.

 

he pulled her in for one last embrace.  she melted against his frame. 

 

before i go any farther, i have to say this...i want to be this girl.  this girl in my dreams with this man.  i wish i knew more of their story.  maybe i will learn more as time passes or maybe this is just one of those happenstance occurrences and i won't see them again.  you know like in the movies and there is a couple that has an explosive weekend together and they part ways never to see each other again.  tragic romance.

 

he pressed her up against her car and kissed her deeply...

 

for me there is something really sexy about being picked up, pressed up against a surface (car, wall, shower door...) and deeply kissed.  i prefer to be the one against the wall because i like to feel the weight of my partner against me.  also because when/if he picks me up, the wall can help support me. 

alright, enough of the drippy sappy.  as you can tell i like this dream couple.  when i find this kind of chemistry, the kind that my dream couple has, you can bet i'm not going to let it pass me by.   



passion under the stars...

i woke up today with an image of a dock in my head.  i had been dreaming about a wonderfully intoxicating, romantic, spontaneous interlude...

they walked in an unhurried gait with fingers entwined.  she kept stealing glances through lowered lashes at the handsome man at her side.  they made their way, under an inky sky dotted with bright twinkling lights, down to the dock... 

there is no sound like the sound of your shoes on a dock.  it is a very earthy hollow sound.  this has to be one of my favorite sounds ever.  in my dream i could hear it clearly.

they sat side by side hidden in the shadows.  their knees touched.  he slipped his arm around her waist.  she gazed up into his inviting face.  he brushed her hair aside and pressed his lips to hers.  a soft but hungry kiss...

watching the dream unfold there was no back story, but i could feel this immense energy between them.  something they had been holding back.  maybe they were somewhere prior to getting to this dock where they couldn't be open or free to explore the attraction? 

as the kiss intensified the hunger to be closer grew.  he laid her back on the dock  pressing his body up against hers.  for a few moments the rest of the world fell away and it was just the two of them.  lost in a kiss, the weight of his body on hers, the exploration of his hands at the curve in her waist.  she wrapped her legs around him drawing him closer wanting to stay in this moment a little bit longer...

a passionate, romantic, intoxicating and spontaneous interlude.