the family dinner....

i just started reading a book that my stepmom, sam, gave me the hour that matters most.  okay, okay, i know, i have a bunch a different reads happening right now.  this is really unusual for me, but currently i have my dazzling parenting book, my workbook for sunday school, my pleasure reading book the help and now this one.  this is unusual because normally i do not possess the power to keep it all straight, but for some reason i am able to keep the four books i have going straight, must be all those blueberries i ate over the summer.

before i get into this book, i want to update you on my dazzling parenting book.  i was excited to learn some new tools that i could use with my ratchets, but honestly the ladies that penned this book are nuts.  as you know, i consider myself to be a Christian and i don't have anything against religion, but these ladies seem like fanatics.  they are the exact people that i would shy my children away from, that comes across really harsh, but seriously i would walk the other way.  sure i've only read 3 chapters, but the third chapter was by far the hardest for me to read.  i was frantically writing notes on all the ways i disagreed or just thought the rationale was crazy town.  i have no idea how i am going to make it through the whole class without ripping my hair out.  i suppose it's a good thing those ladies aren't actually teaching the class we might have a throw down, which i would win.

so the new book.  the focus is coming together as a family at least once a day for a meal.  i grew up this way, i do this with my own kids, and honestly i think it is strange that a good majority of folks don't do this in their homes.  i understand why it doesn't happen (multiple schedules, food likes/dislikes, lack of time) but a family dinner is very important to me and i do everything in my power to make that happen.  even if it is just a bowl of cereal, we sit together for the 2.2 minutes that it takes to consume it.

i found myself with an extra 10 minutes yesterday afternoon.  once a week i have two extra kiddos who come home with us, my kids love having friends to hang and play with.  so after all four kids got their homework done and they all enjoyed a snack (peanut butter and chocolate chip crescent rolls; these were a hit) the lot was playing soccer out in the yard.  i took this opportunity to crack open the book.  i have been itching to dive into it, so i got my pen, post-it notes, a cup of tea and sat down at the kitchen table.  i wasn't able to get very far, in fact i haven't even made it into the first chapter, but i was hooked. 

the introduction has some interesting facts that i wanted to share

1.  65% of teens and young adults spend less than hour a day unplugged.  oh geez, i must considered a young adult.  i am very, very guilty of this.  ever since i treated myself to my iphone for my birthday last year, i have been addicted to my phone.  my friend beth and i had held off getting smart phones because we didn't want to be those people who are hunched over their tiny screen.  well, i have turned into that person.  sigh.  i play games, listen to music, check my facebook, email, text, call, take pictures...you name it i do it on my phone.  i use it as my alarm clock, which means i sleep with it.  occasionally i answer texts that come through in the middle of the night.  my phone is like an extension of my hand, i always have it on my person. 

2.  in the 1950's the McDonald's Corporation was born in southern california.  today McDonald's is the nation's largest purchaser of beef, pork and potatoes.  according to Eric Schlosser author of fast food nation, the golden arches are now more widely recognized than the Christian cross.  these statistics are mind blowing to me.  an establishment that slings burgers, fries and shakes has had  and will continue to have such a big impact on our nation.  this makes me wonder where our nation would be without McDonald's? 

3.  about the same time drive-thrus started sweeping the nation, tv dinners were unveiled, instant rice was introduced and the microwave.  the mindset in the 1950's went from nutritional value of a meal to how fast can i put a complete meal on the table.  i don't think we have just drive-thrus and microwaves to blame, the shift in the workforce i think has had a big impact on family meals. 

all of this is from the introduction.  mind boggling!  i may change my mind on the importance of this book, but i will tell you right now that i am thinking this is a must read.  i did skim the book and throughout there are tips on dinner discussion, there are meal ideas, and of course more statistics.  yippee

as i said above, i grew up with the constitution of the family dinner.  it didn't matter where we lived, who was a part of our life, what after school activities we had, being home for dinner was required.   there were very few excuses that were good enough to miss family dinners. 

as a mamma of two kiddos, i have continued this tradition, but we have added breakfast.  i cook breakfast for my children every day, they have one day during the school week that is cold breakfast day, this is the day that i don't prepare a hot meal.  most mornings you can find me in my uglier than ugly pink robe and slippers with wet hair flipping french toast, pancakes or eggs.  yes they are spoiled.  i eat my breakfast in liquid form, coffee. 

dinners are most often eaten at the table, occasionally we eat in the living room and watch a movie, but this is a special night.  i will admit that being on top of my game and cooking every night is challenging.  there are times when i am beat and i just don't feel like cooking.  since we aren't really a "left-over" family, those nights tend to be pizza or a drive-thru.  there are also times that i love a good ol' fashion gut bomb from McDonald's (i like the quarter pounder with cheese), unfortunately it doesn't like me so much. 

please don't take this as i am patting myself on the back for a job well done.  i am guilty of drive-thrus, crap dinners, sitting at the table with my phone and completely ignoring my children, but i would say that we eat more meals together than not.  we eat more home cooked meals than not.  i am engaged with my kids more times than not.  okay maybe just a small pat on the back. 

i can't wait to dive into this book.  thank you sam.  i love you.

loving my apron...

being in the kitchen is a place i am comfortable.  i have a really small kitchen right now.  it is set up like a galley kitchen, the sink and oven are across from each other.  when you have the dishwasher open you can't get into the refrigerator.  there is very little cupboard space, but the cupboards it does have have slide out drawers this is a really nice feature.  i have kitchen things stashed all over, in a hutch in the eating area, in my front closest (thank you dad for putting those shelves in there for me), towels are in my laundry room, there are more things stashed but i feel like you might be screaming hoarder at me, so i will stop.

even though my kitchen is tight i am able to turn out delicious creations.  i am a novice chef. ha! that makes me laugh just saying it.  okay, no really i am a recipe follower.  i lack the ability to create meals just because i think the flavors will taste good together.  i do not understand the science behind mixing the compoents to create a flavor balanced dish.  i could probably benefit from an actual cooking class, just to understand, but really there are so many qualified chefs out there that share their recipes i don't need to go to class. 

although if you, not sure who you is but maybe you will know who you are, want to surprise me.  cooking lessons would be what i would get me.  i don't when i would ever have the time to go to them, but i would adore you forever.  if you decided to take them with me that would be even better. 

okay, back to it. 

i like to make food from scratch.  i don't like processed, boxed up food that you just mix and heat.  i am definitely not criticizing you folks who cook this way, i just like to get my hands in the mess and prefer to cook from scratch.  yes, this does take more time and little more planning, but i think that it better for myself and my kids.  i know exactly what is in our food and can control the amount of fillers we are ingesting. 

 

so i have been addicted to pinterest.  there is a food section and my mouth waters as i repin countless recipes i want to try.  i may not get to all of them, but i am making a concerted effort to try at least one a week.  this seems a little overwhelming, but i am going to give it a go.  last week i made two new things; slow cooker ranch style pork chops and parmesan mashed potatoes

i didn't have pork chops, so i used a pork roast instead.  same idea, tasted fantastic.  i had an extra eater, my mom and we ate it all up.  even the potatoes were fantastic and i am not a huge potato fan.  the other thing i made was some rolls from scratch.  i got that recipe out of the paper about a month ago.  they were really good and the whole batch disappeared from my table.  Peyton made little sandwiches with her roast, potatoes a little gravy and the rolls.  yummmm....

i have printed several recipes that i would like to give a shot in the next week or so;

mexican lime chicken soup  my kids are not big soup fans so i am not sure how this will go over, but it sounds delish.

oven baked garlic parmesan fries  not a huge fan of potatoes but i think these sounds so yummy...panko, parmesan, garlic, olive oil and parsley. what's not to love?  i have potatoes waiting to be used... well potato meet your destiny.

spinach fettuccine  might have a hard time squeaking the spinach past my ratchets, but i think if they closed their eyes they might be surprised.  maybe the bacon will convince them to try it?

crockpot chicken and dumplings   i have been in the mood for some good old fashion comfort food.  you really don't get much more comfort than chicken and dumplings.  if i can do this in my crockpot while i am at work, yahoo!!

slow cooker french dips  when i go to a restaurant for lunch i almost always get a french dip.  i love french dips, we always have these on around halloween.  my friend bethy has a really nummy recipe but it has pepperoccinis in it and i think this one might be better suited to my kiddos.

bacon ranch chicken  i have definitely been on a bacon ranch kick; pull apart bread, potatoes, but seriously those two ingredients go with anything.  my daughter claims she can't chew chicken...she masticates her chicken into a paste...eww!  i wouldn't want to swallow that either.  i am hoping that the bacon and ranch will encourage her to chew a few times and then swallow.

our dinner table almost always has some delicious feast waiting to be consumed.  if you are in the area stop by, there is always more than what my kiddos and i can eat.  see you soon!

82 reasons...

12:01 on a monday morning in october. 

i am awake in my bed, impatiently awaiting sleep.  i have been lying here in the dark for the past couple of hours hoping that the dream fairy will come by, but she hasn't.  i can't place my finger on the reason for my sleeplessness.  i have a sneaky suspicion that it might be a compilation of several culprits. 

one of those being that i am in that time of the year when my life turned around.  if you read page one and page two, previous posts, you will know what i am referring to.  maybe, just maybe my over active brain is refusing sleep because it is reliving those two days.  it is difficult to look back on.  i still find it strange that i, heather marie, lived that.  i suppose instead of reliving it i should be focusing on how far i've come and grown, but as i am typing these words i am focusing on the events that occurred.  are you thinking emotional cutter?  you might be right this time.  maybe to continue my growth i need to go further into day two...play out the rest of this day, three years ago? 

i have typically liked this time of year.  the colors, the smells, the corn mazes and pumpkins.  i've never liked the actual dressing up in costume part, but the rest of october celebrations i have liked.  since 2008 i seem to have subconsciously shied away, pulled back, and be reserved about the festivities that surround october.  i pulled out our decorations, yes i am huge decorator of expertly executed paper crafts made by my children, and noticed that the dates on the back of the creations all said 2008.  was that really the last time that we made crafts?  did i invest the time in 2008 to distract my kids that their dad wasn't at home, the first time he physically wasn't home every day?  we did make new crafts this year and i proudly displayed them.  could this be a sign that i am truly finding peace?  can i really place that much weight on a craft?

this day in 2008, was the longest day i have ever known or lived.  long in the sense that i was awake for many hours.  that my emotions were all over the map; fear, anxiety, disappointment, shame, love, gratitude...i am sure the list could continue, but i think you get the point.  that i was the recipient of the greatest love and support i have ever known.  that as one relationship was unraveling at lightening speed  several were solidifying to concrete, secure and life long.  the level of exhaustion that i endured that day was and still is mind blowing to me. 

yes, i think this is one of the culprits that has robbed me of a sound nights sleep. 

another being that it has been three years and i am alone in my bed.  new bed i will have you, but nonetheless alone.  there is no warm body next to me just a stack of books, a couple of notepads of varying sizes, two kinds of pens and my laptop.  i have yet, this is not for a lack of trying, found another to fill the space next to me.  there is a part of this revelation that terrifies me, will my bed always be empty?   i don't want to settle, but am i being too picky?  am i purposely choosing to invest time in fellas that will ultimately go nowhere because i am afraid of committing myself to someone else again?  are you still thinking emotional cutter?  well again, you might be right, this time.

in previous posts i have shared my dabbling in dating.  although i can find humor in the process and hopefully relate it in an entertaining fashion, i wonder if i am being too picky?  if i look back on things my disqualifiers seem to be superficial; too short, he wore a pink shirt with buttons, came on too strong, didn't like his voice, horrible teeth, ugly hair, seemed to care too much about possessions, weird outfit (dress shoes, jeans, short sleeve underarmour shirt...huh? why?), lives too far away, too put together, stuttered, too hairy, too many kids (if we got together i would be overwhelmed), too old.  so these aren't from the same person, but really heather?  i believe there was a friends episode and i want to say it was chandler who was dating and he had 82 reasons why the gal just wasn't the right gal.  anyone see that?  my sis or duedue would know exactly what i am referring to and who the actual character was, me not so much. 

am i afraid because i thought i had it all figured out the first time around and it all fell apart?  how is it that i could have spent all that time with an individual and been so wrong?  is it possible to actually trust my instincts and my gut and be successful?  i have bounced this idea off of my "morality barometer" (she knows who she is) and she has a very different take on my negative outlook.  i wonder how she knows that?  do i really view myself so differently from the people who know the true me? 

yes, this is another culprit that is making my head spin and depriving me of sleep.

i feel fragile tonight.  maybe you call it morning.  whatever it is night...morning... the feeling is still the same; fragile, small, insignificant.  there is a fair amount of fear and uncertainty surrounding me.  it is unsettling.  i don't like feeling this way, but i suppose we all have down days.  hopefully i will wake refreshed even with fewer hours of rest. 

good night.

flick...or tie them up...

do you discipline because you don't like your child's actions?

or

do you discipline because your child's action is wrong?

this was an interesting series of questions brought up by the pastor during my parenting class the other night.  i have sat on this for a couple of days.  reviewed my notes that i took during class.  my notes after these two questions says there is a distinct difference.  figure it out! on my paper it is underlined twice.  since the questions haven't left my brain they must've made an impression.

like i said i think these are interesting questions.  i think for myself i do both.  i know there are times, sometimes more often than not, when i want the action to stop because i am flat out annoyed.  when in reality my kids aren't doing anything dangerous or naughty i am just at the end of my rope for the day.  maybe i am having my womanly cycle (ladies i know we don't like this thrown in our faces, but listen i am definitely affected by it and my patience, tolerance, what-have-you is less for that week.), maybe i didn't sleep well the night before, maybe i just have a lot of adult issues swirling in my head that are taxing me.  who knows what the reason might be, but i know that my patience level isn't always stellar.

when my kids are being disrespectful, purposefully naughty or partaking in a dangerous activity then their behavior warrants discipline.  the question that keeps getting brought up during class is when will we learn about acceptable Christian forms of discipline?  i haven't read that far into the book yet, but i might have some issues with what is said.  i am only speculating but there are many forms of discipline that i just don't agree with and have never used.  i will give you some background about why...

i have shared some of this before and many of you already know this.  my son has a disorder.  upon discovery i jumped in with two feet and got him all the help that was available.  i also read everything that was available to me.  i am forever indebted to the professionals who spent countless hours working with him and giving me tools and knowledge to help him.  one of these professionals came to our house to do some specialized work with our family to teach us how to help him in his own environment.  she made one of the most impactful statements regarding children that i have never forgotten and it is always in the forefront of my brain.

it had to do with behavior.  not specific to the type of disorder my son has, but behavior of all children.  spefically in regards to impulse versus logic.  basically she said that children are impulsive.  they live on a sliding scale with impulsivity at one end and logic at the other.  as they age and mature they slide farther away from impulsive moving towards logic.  so while they are toddlers they are almost all impulse.  although you may have told them the expectation and the rule a thousand times, they lack the maturity to logically navigate their world.  now fast forward to teen years and our children have slid past the half way mark on their way towards logic first then impulse.  i don't have teens yet, but i am getting closer and i think it will be hard to remember that their brains are still developing, and although they will have much more logical sense than they did as toddlers there is still a strong impulsivity to their decision making. 

we have to keep in mind that there are plenty of adults that react to their world very impulsively, they do however have the maturity to logically process their world, they are just idiots.  no i'm kidding. no i'm not.  yes i am.  i guess what i am getting at is that we, as parents, have high expectations that our young children should have the brain maturity to logically make good choices, because we have told them a thousand times and they should just know by now.  i think either we forget or we just didn't realize that our expectation is beyond age appropriate decision making.  however, with all that knowledge i know this, kids aren't stupid.  they do what works.  so finding that fine line can be challenging for parents.

ok i want to end this with a funny from class.  before class started we, i will keep the ladies identity private but you should know there were three of us, were talking about a dinner incident:

child is drinking from their milk cup like a dog and licking the milk.  here is the transaction between the mother and child.

mom 1: stop that!
child: still lapping milk
mom 1: stop that! followed by a flick to the head
child: still lapping milk
mom 1: stop it!  followed by more flicking
child: still lapping milk
mom 1: then you don't get a drink, removes drink.

by now myself and mom 2 are laughing at the dinner fiasco.  mom 2 says to mom 1, "i don't think that is how you dazzle your child through the love of Jesus."  now all three of us are laughing like hyenas.  mom 1 says, "this always happens.  he is wiggly and disruptive and dinner is always a nightmare."  i suggested that maybe the flicking isn't working and she should try tying him to his chair. again we are laughing like hyenas.  the three of us decided that flicking is not dazzling, but tying them up is.  as we were vocalizing our decision a parenting team came in.  they both said, "we are flickers."  this made us laugh hysterically.  in all seriousness neither way is dazzling.

so i think recognizing that there is definitely a distinction between disciplining because we don't like it or because they are truly being naughty, will help me take a moment before blurting corrections.  again i am just speculating, but maybe. 

dazzle part deux...

 it is the second week of my faith based parenting class.  why must i put in  "faith"?  does parenting with an emphasis on the gospel change how one parents?   am i seeking approval from my other faithful believers that i am being a good Christian?  am i trying to show God, hey look at me i am trying to implement your teachings and spread your word to my children?  answers: i don't know, yes, no, no.

it is interesting and somewhat uncomfortable to sit through this class.  there a few father/mother parenting teams, the pastor, myself and a couple of others.  it is a well attended class, however we can be very tight lipped in sharing our thoughts.  in both sessions there have been several moments of awkward silence, where the pastor has asked a question and no one seems brave enough to answer.  i know for myself, i am not one to have all eyes on me, i am not that versed in my faith, and i don't want to say the wrong answer so i don't answer.  instead when a question is asked i avert my eyes and madly study the book for what i think the answer is.

i know i have said this before, but i think it is worth repeating.  i grew up attending a traditional Lutheran church.  i was baptized as an infant, i went to sunday school, i was involved in my churches youth program, i went through a condensed confirmation class.  i say grace before dinner, but not other meals.   i have grown up doing the "Christian thing", but i've never retained the teachings.  i simply can't recall bible verses, can't recite scripture from memory, i still have to refer to my index to know where a certain book falls in the bible. 

i've also never had the lingo.  you won't catch me praising Jesus for nice weather, or safe travels to work, or for a streak of good luck.  this is not to say that i don't privately thank Him for good things, but i certainly don't walk around touting my praise.  when i do say things in Christian lingo it feels foreign in my mouth.  when i am around someone who is so forthcoming i think they sound insincere.  almost as if they are so over-the-top christian to prove that they do believe.  i just don't think it is normal to always vocally bless those around you, unless you are a pastor, but even the religious leaders i have known don't speak this way in their everyday language.  they have their preacher lingo and then their everyday shooting the breeze lingo. 

so according to this class i am supposed to have a monologue with my children about acting more Christian-like.  the book is a little unrealistic in the manner that conversation is supposed to happen.  the opening paragraph has siblings pounding on each other and the mother does what i think most mother's initial reactions would be, "stop it! we don't beat each other up in our house!"  if it were me i would shout, "enough!"  i use that word a lot with my kids.  well the authors of this book give an alternate version, where she is lecturing the kids on how Jesus would've dealt with the same scenario and why.  the alternate version is half a page of text.  during our first session there was conversation on how we felt that the authors didn't recognize who their target audience was.

so we went a little deeper into what this really looks like during the next class.  what i took from it is that first we should follow God's Law do unto others as you would have done unto you followed by God's Gospel, the why behind the law.  this makes more sense to me. when i analyze how i parent and the words i choose to use, i realize that i do preach God's Law, i just don't use the lingo.  for me do unto others as you would have done unto you comes out as treat each other the way you want to be treated.  the part that i am lacking, according to this book about how to dazzle my children through the love of Jesus, is why we should do this. 

so as the kids and i were driving home from youth group/parenting class, i asked them some basic questions about the bible, going to church, if they wanted to hear more of the gospel in our home?  nothing too deep, because i wouldn't know how to answer them.  since i don't usually talk this way they both looked at me like i had fallen off my rocker, but they both wanted to know more.  this is interesting and daunting to me.  in order for me to educate them more i will first have to educate myself.  oy!

"are you dazzled?"  this question is answered with contorted faces and then uncontrollable laughter.  i don't think i have dazzled them with the love of Jesus, but i do notice a difference in how i approach certain situations.  i still holler, "enough!"  i am constantly preaching "treat each other the way you want to be treated", "keep your hands to yourself", and  "stop arguing".  somehow i don't think that will ever change, i think it is ingrained in parents to attempt to keep the peace so we don't go bananas.  perhaps in the next couple of sessions i will learn some new dazzling tools.

i have a wedgie...

just kidding!

finding a title that is catchy, eludes to what might be in the post and isn't too salty is challenging.  i often times leave my title for the end, trying to pull out a phrase from the text.  there a times when i have a thought to expand on and i do a 180 midstream which changes what my original title would have been. 

as you all know i am a huge reader.  my love of reading started when i was very young.  growing up our whole house shut down at 8:00pm.  everyone was in their beds, lights out, no noise.  we didn't have televisions in our rooms and this is before every human on earth possessed a cell phone.  i did have a boom box, i never carried it on my shoulder, but music wasn't allowed after 8.  it was against the rules to have our overhead lights on, but we could have a reading light or desk lamp on.  being a typical young person, i didn't want to go to bed when my mom told me to, so i read.  i know you are scoffing at my rebellion against the rules, because really, reading is not a serious crime.  far less offensive then say sneaking out or running away or sassing my mom. i've never been a wave maker.  as a youth i read almost every night at bedtime.  i have continued that into adulthood.

i pick books solely on their title or the image on the cover.  sometimes i just like the font the title was printed in or maybe the image reminds of a place i've been or want to go to, a person i know, or evokes a feeling that speaks to my soul.  i never read the synopsis, every read is a complete surprise and a new adventure, just the way i like it.  i have read some really interesting books, some really boring books, some that are written for someone much smarter than i, and some that i wish i had never picked out.  picking a book by it's title is definitely a crap shoot, but to me it is worth it. 

in the world of on-line dating a person's screen name is ultra intriguing to me.  screen names remind me of tattoos.  there is almost always a reason why someone chooses to permanently ink their bodies.  sometimes it is sentimental, or inspirational, but almost always it is important to that person.  screen names often reveal something unique and insightful about who that person is that they don't share in their bio.

for instance, i have a friend who's screen name is sasquatch with a two digit number after it.  what do you think of when you read sasquatch?  here is what i think:
1. a reference to really big feet.
2. has a secret fascination with the elusive big foot and goes on treks in the forest to find him.
3. has a personality that is bigger than life
well none of those are correct.  the word sasquatch is in reference to a music festival that happens at the gorge.  who knew?  that answer didn't even make my top five ideas.

how about this one pragmatic with a two digit number after it.  i got the pragmatic part  dealing or concerned with facts or actual occurrences.   i found this clever being a word nerd, but i couldn't for the life of me figure out the number reference.  i knew it wasn't the year the person was born, hoping it wasn't a reference to the number of lovers he had had, and didn't think it was a reference to the amount of dogs he currently has, but i suppose one never knows.  it was in fact a military reference.  i found this interesting since there was no mention of a military background in his bio.  ultimately this isn't someone i would ever pursue, but the screen name was clever.

my screen name is completely lame.  for some reason i lack creativity when it comes to my personal information.  i couldn't use something with Flo in it, everyone thinks i am referencing my monthly cycle, not really first impression material.  i ended up using a combination of my first and last name with the year i was born.  i told you it was lame.  if you can think of a better one please let me know.

so, what's in a title?  tons!  sorry there is no reference to thongs or any other type of underwear that is hopelessly lodged in my butt, that was misleading, but maybe it caught your attention.  it would've caught mine.

i am a looky loo...

do you ever wonder where the car next to you on the freeway is headed?  i do.  i almost always look at the driver of the car next to me and then wonder where are you going?  who are you? what is your story?  does anyone else do this?  maybe i am the only nut job that is that curious about the humans around me?

i am a pretty care free driver.  i tend to pick a lane, crank the tunes, and travel.  i usually give myself plenty of time so i'm not in a hurry.  yet there are those drivers that think they are in a nascar race.  you know the ones...you see them in your rear view mirror weaving in and out of the lanes, traveling much faster than everyone else.  then they pass you.  if you blink you will miss them completely.  i really want to know where these folks are headed.  are they late?  do they always drive this way?  could they really be a race car driver?

i always have music on in my car.  sometimes i sing to the radio.  i listen to 103.7 The Mountain faithfully.  i have a three disc changer, today it has Adele, Eric Hutchison and Selena Gomez.  ok, you can stop laughing at the last one, that is my daughter's cd, although i do know all the words.  i also have my phone with 1022 of my favorite songs.  well maybe they aren't all my favorites, but you know what i mean. 

this afternoon, i was leaving work going to pick up my kiddos from school.  i was waiting to get on the freeway, singing of course.  there was a pick up truck in front of me.  i opened my eyes (yes i close my eyes when i am belting out those high notes) and saw the fella in the pick up truck watching me in his rear view mirror.  when i made eye contact with him he flashed me a pearly white smile, a smile almost as big as mine, this is hard to do.  i of course smiled right back.

well off we go, me and my tunes and mr. pick up truck.  for some reason, i can't get away from my new friend on the freeway.  i stay in my lane, the middle lane, but he is everywhere.  in front of me, behind me, in the fast lane, and the slow lane.  what in the world?  every time he passes he smiles and friendly silly me, i smile back.  wouldn't you know we get off at the same exit, he is directly in front of me.  i thought to myself he is going to think i am following him.  we end up at the same stop light side by side.

oh geez, what am i supposed to do now?  just in case you are wondering, he is a nice looking man.  probably similar in age.  i did notice when he was in the slow lane there wasn't a ring or a "white" line on his ring finger.  oh come on, i am single gal we look for these things.  oh and he seems to be local we did get off at the same exit.  but i am still at what am i supposed to do now?  keep singing?  roll down my window and say hi?  pull out my "homeless sign" with my phone number on it and smash it against my window?  ok i don't really have one of those, but it might be a good idea. 

this whole scenario reminds of a song.  Meantime Girl by Jaron and the Long Road to Love.  the purchase of this cd was a complete impulse buy.  i had no idea what genre of music i was buying, but the fella on the cover was just so cute.  i was hoping there was a poster inside that i could tack to my wall.  it brought me back to my teen magazine days.  turns out this is a country artist, the cd isn't too bad.  i've listened to it enough to know all the words and well he is still cute!

back to my dilemma.  i didn't roll down my window even though his was rolled down.  i didn't hold up my sign this was just an idea.  i kept singing.  i did make eye contact, flashed my over the gum forced smile and waved.  that was the best i could come up with.  i'm not so good on the fly. 

now that you know that i am a looky loo and that i am curious about all the drivers around me, if you see me on the road please wave.  i will have already spotted you.  i will have already come up with my own scenario of what you are up to.  i will most definitely be singing and i will flash you a big ol cheesy grin.  oh and if you know any good tips on how to flirt with a cute fella while driving please pass them on, apparently i need help.